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Toilet training any child feels challenging for parents. Toilet training autistic children can take longer, start later and may have extra challenges. Over the years, we have helped a lot of parents do this successfully. In the second part of this autism toilet training series, we’ll share the step-by-step guide to removing nappies. If you haven’t already read our guide on building the foundations for toilet training success, you can find our best tips here.

Toilet training autistic children: Before you start

1. Choose a day to start toilet training. Plan to spend at least the next three days at home fully focused on your child. Ideally, keep up to seven days free. Remember, once you take nappies off for toilet training, you will only put them back on for bedtime! Avoid planning any trips out or car journeys where you’ll be tempted to put a nappy back on.
2. Before starting, make sure you have followed the strategies we recommend to build the foundations for toilet training.
3. Prepare your child for the upcoming change in whichever ways they respond best (e.g., verbally, with a social story, using a visual schedule, or with their speech device).

Step-by-step guide

1. When your child wakes up, remove their nappy and take them to sit on the toilet or potty. Model how to ask for the toilet either verbally, with signs, with PECS or using the talker.
2. Have them sit for 3-5 minutes.
3. If you manage to catch a wee or poo in the toilet, great! Help them clean up and follow the handwashing steps. Consider following a successful movement in the toilet with something positive to help your child learn this is the goal.
4. If not, that’s ok. Follow the rest of the steps anyway and be careful not to put pressure on them.
5. Set your timer for 30 minutes and spend time playing with your child. Keep a close eye on them for any signs they might have an accident. Keeping them in a top and pair of underwear will make this easier to spot.
6. If your child starts to have an accident, help them get to the toilet and finish on the toilet. Use a calm tone of voice, gestures and facial expression to avoid creating any anxiety or worries. You can say something neutral like “Wee goes in the toilet”. Reset your timer from the point of the accident.
7. If your child does not have an accident, take them to the toilet when the 30 minutes is over and repeat step 1.

Changing the toileting schedule

Once your child has a day with no accidents (or with very few), try increasing to taking them to the toilet every 40 minutes. As they master this schedule, keep increasing the schedule by 10 minutes at a time.

If you get stuck at any point or aren’t having success, try reducing the schedule by ten minutes and giving them longer to master.

Once you reach 60 minutes, resuming normal life becomes a lot easier!

Once you reach around 90 minutes, you may find you start to remind your child to use the toilet at natural transition points (e.g., before going out) rather than sticking to a schedule. Whenever it feels right, start to do this and try to give your child opportunities to initiate toilet visits themselves by prompting a little less.

Toilet training any child can be daunting. When that child has autism, toilet training can take longer, start later and may have extra challenges. Over the years, we have helped a lot of parents with strategies for toilet training autistic children. In this autism toilet training series, we’ll share what we’ve learned to help you have a smoother journey. Let’s start with some strategies you can use to set your child up to succeed before you take nappies off. Resist the temptation to rush through these – spending a few weeks on these strategies can make the toilet training process easier and less stressful.

Autism toilet training: deciding when to start.

We recommend planning a week where your child is at home with you or another caregiver. The summer holidays can be a great time as not only are children off school, but the warmer weather means your child can comfortably play in a t-shirt and pants. This reduces the number of steps to get them onto a potty or toilet quickly.

Ideally, plan to start working on these tips at least a few weeks before the week of toilet training.

Making the process familiar.

When your child follows you into the bathroom, you can follow the same steps each time and talk through the process (simplifying language if needed). Look for stories or create a booklet that describes the steps of using the toilet. If your child enjoys imaginary play, act out the steps of using the toilet with their characters and toys.

Consider creating a social story, or a visual schedule that talks through the steps of using the toilet. When you use the bathroom, or when acting the steps out with toys, follow the same sequence.

Autism toilet training equipment.

If you’re trying to decide if you should start toilet training with a potty or move straight to an adapted toilet seat you’re not alone. Consider whether your child struggles with changes to established routines. If they do, they might do better starting with the adapted toilet seat so that there is one less change for them. If transitions are harder for them and you don’t have a toilet on every floor, a potty can be more convenient as they won’t have to go so far to get to the toilet.

Look for a toilet seat or toilet seat and step combo that will leave your child’s feet supported. This will help them feel more stable and secure.

Make sure your child can reach the bathroom sink and soap – they may also need a step to do this.

Building confidence on the toilet

Give your child the chance to explore the potty or toilet. Create time in your routine where you spend a little time in the bathroom every day with the ultimate goal of practising sitting* on the potty or toilet each day.

* We recommend teaching both boys and girls to sit on the potty or toilet initially.

• Ideally, have your child sit on the potty/toilet at the same point in your routine or rhythm every day. This will be easier for you to remember and predictable for your autistic child who thrives on routines
• Add something your child will look forward to – perhaps they love bubbles or a certain song. My daughter loves to see videos of her family so we asked the family to send videos of what they’d been doing and we watched these.
• If your child seems nervous to sit, resist the temptation to push them and give them lots of time to get used to the potty/toilet seat.
  • Let them enjoy doing something next to it until they become more comfortable
  •  Aim to gently encourage without adding lots of pressure.

Next: 2) Autism Toilet Training: A step-by-step guide to removing nappies.